21-Hormones and Emotions
Transcript:
Welcome to the Preparing for Childbirth podcast where we'll talk about God's amazing design for childbirth, learn how to prepare for the unknown, handle the pain and lean into God's character through it all! I'm your host, Jenny Childs. I’m a follower of Jesus, wife, mom, and lover of all things childbirth. Thanks so much for joining me today!
This is episode 21
Today I’d like to address a topic that is relevant to women before, during, and after pregnancy but it can really get ramped up during pregnancy and immediately postpartum – that is the topic of Hormones and Emotions.
I’ve talked about hormones before on the podcast when I shared the Story of Birth and we looked at the amazing way God designed a woman’s body to grow and birth a baby. Hormones are the chemical messengers in the body that coordinate the flow of a normal birth. (They also coordinate many other functions in the body, for that matter.) In that episode we talked about the importance of working with your hormones to get labor going and keep it progressing. We also talked about the fascinating interplay of hormones between mama and baby in the immediate postpartum time. I’ll put a link in the show notes if you want to go back and listen.
When a woman gets pregnant, there are many hormonal changes that happen in her body to welcome and support the growth of a baby. Hormones that cause eggs to be released and regulate the menstrual cycle drop to very low levels during pregnancy, for obvious reasons. Other hormones like estrogen and progesterone increase to help support baby’s growth. Such dramatic changes in your body can sometimes also affect your mood – for better or for worse. Around the time of delivery even more hormones kick into gear to crank up the contractions, help regulate the pain, stimulate breastmilk production and give mama the energy she needs to welcome her new baby after such a tiring journey to get there. Then after the baby is born, some of those hormone levels plummet and your body starts working to regulate itself again. That process can take up to 6 months or longer postpartum to get back to a pre-pregnancy normal. And the process in the meantime can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride because the fluctuating hormones also seem to affect our moods.
There is such an interplay going on between the body and the soul and it’s hard to know how one is affecting the other or where one stops and the other begins. So, what’s a mama to do with all the heightened emotions in the meantime?
First, let’s talk about a biblical view of emotions. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Part of being made in the image of God means that we were created with emotions because we know that God has emotions. Here are just a few examples:
From Isaiah 62:5
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.
From Ps 78:40-41
How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness
and grieved him in the wasteland!
41 Again and again they put God to the test;
they vexed the Holy One of Israel.
From Numbers 11:1
Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused.
And that’s only a few examples of the many wide range of emotions we see displayed by God throughout scripture.
Unfortunately, when sin entered the world, our emotions were also affected and tainted by sin. Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us that since the Fall, the heart is deceitful and not to be trusted. Sometimes, now, our emotions can feel so overwhelming, even controlling. Negative emotions can lead to distress & pain, even despair. And for a pregnant or postpartum mama, all the emotions often feel heightened - the good, the bad and the ugly.
So back to my question, what’s a mama to do?
It’s important to remember that God designed us to feel. He gave us emotions. They are a part of his good design, and they serve a purpose.
Just because the emotions feel bigger, stronger, or closer to the surface than normal does not mean they should be discounted as “just hormones” acting up. Don’t try to stuff them. Neither do the raging hormones in and around pregnancy give you a blank check to say anything you feel like saying or do anything you feel like doing.
Our emotions, even those heightened emotions associated with pregnancy and postpartum can be good indicators, if we’ll take the time to look, of what’s going on in our hearts. They can help us see what we really value.
Part of the difficulty sometimes is that you’re not used to carrying your emotions so close to the surface. Normally, it’s easier to keep them in check or wear a poker face so to speak. You might not even mean too, but let’s face it, emotions can be hard to deal with so some of us may be in the habit of not really dealing with them if we don’t have to. But hormones seem to bring those emotions to the top and they’re not so easy to hide or ignore anymore. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Inconvenient, maybe, because you have to deal with them now, but if you’ll stop and do the hard work of examining your heart through the lens of your emotions, you might learn a thing or two that, with humility and repentance, could draw you closer to the Lord and even help prepare you for the hard work of mothering.
What usually happens, unfortunately, is that we let the emotions take over and push us around. We give over control because we’re taught from childhood in storybooks, fairytales, and movies to just follow your heart. And told to let your feelings be your guide.
There’s so much going on in your body when you’re pregnant. And in your life as you prepare for a major transition. And especially postpartum with a new baby in your arms who changes everything. And now your body needs to recover. And you’re tired… You have to be intentional to keep your eyes focused on the Lord and on truth and to allow that to guide your thoughts and actions. It sure is easier to just follow your feelings. You don’t have to really think about that. Just do what feels right….
Well, if you remember from Jeremiah, the heart is deceitful. We should not trust it blindly and just follow where our feelings lead. They are much better gauges than they are guides – you know, like a check engine light, telling us something is up and we should look deeply to discover what’s at the root of our actions and words.
Are you going to cry over things you normally wouldn’t cry over when your hormones are working overtime? Yes, you probably will. Just go ahead and cry. Then when you’re done, if it was really nothing or something genuinely silly, then laugh at yourself and let your husband or someone else laugh with you. Hormones can cause you to feel crazy feelings sometimes. And sometimes, the best thing to do is laugh at yourself.
But maybe that cry is showing you there is something deep down that you might not have recognized otherwise that you need to deal with. If that’s the case, don’t laugh and blow it off. Pause and pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to discover what’s at the root.
When your emotions lead you to sin, there’s a problem. God’s word doesn’t say obey when you feel like it. There’s no pass given in scripture for those days when hormones are raging. It doesn’t say obey except when you’re really hungry or exhausted or feeling hormonal. It just says obey.
Don’t hear me saying to stuff your emotions or to minimize them. I’m not saying that. It’s good to feel – remember, that’s part of being made in the image of God. Just don’t let your emotions make your decisions for you – especially if they are leading you to sin. Weigh them against God’s word and choose to believe His word is true and to obey.
Our emotions can also help us discover idols. What are you worshipping? We almost always react negatively if we don’t get something we’ve begun to worship. One of my greatest desires has long been wanting to be the perfect mom. And I didn’t recognize it as a potential idol and start working to dethrone it until I was 3 kiddos in. This has obviously played itself out differently in different seasons of motherhood. And thankfully with the Lord’s help I’m able to keep that desire in its proper place more often than not, these days.
As I’ve been working on this podcast, I was talking with my husband trying to remember some of my overly emotional struggles during pregnancy and I laughed as I remembered a phone call with my OB when I was pregnant with my first baby. I had a pretty bad cold, that was starting to turn into a sinus infection and I knew I needed to take some medicine but I didn’t want to because I was afraid it would be bad for the baby. All I really remember is being a balling mess as I tried to talk to him and feeling like he wasn’t taking my concerns seriously. It is humorous now, but I also realized, looking back, what I had no idea of at the time – those strong emotions were stemming from my idol of being a perfect mother. If I had taken the time to examine and dig a little to discover that idol way back then, maybe I could have avoided much grief that came later as my idol grew bigger and bigger.
I wish I had known back then to ask myself questions like, “Jenny, What are you believing about who God is and who you are?” I could have answered something like, “Well, I’m believing that God is not in control, it’s all up to me to take care of this baby.” If I was being really truthful with myself I might have even gone so far as say, “I don’t believe God is good because He let me get sick.” Then, if I said those things outload – or even just acknowledged to myself that’s how I felt, then I would recognize those things aren’t true. I knew God’s word and I wanted to believe it, but I wasn’t living like I did.
Recognizing the lies would have given me the opportunity to repent, to turn to the Lord and remember truth: God is in control and he loves my baby even more than I do. He is good and even when I can’t see it, He is working for my good and my baby’s good. I could also remind myself that I’m not a slave to sin because of Jesus’ death and resurrection. I can put off the lies and let go of my fear because Jesus conquered death and as Ephesians 1:19 & 20 indicates, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in me.
Let me end today with this passage of scripture:
Lamentations 3:17-26
I have been deprived of peace;
I have forgotten what prosperity is.
18 So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the Lord.”
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
Just like we often feel such strong, seemingly unexplainable emotions during pregnancy and postpartum (and if I’m being honest, at other times, too), the author of this passage is feeling some pretty strong negative emotions. But I love the way he transitions, “yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope” And he goes on to talk about Gods great love.
Ladies, I encourage you to keep that in the forefront of your minds. Saturate your thoughts with truth. Read the Bible, listen to the Word preached, listen to scripture filled music. Rest in God’s great love for you and your baby. Feel those emotions that spring up so unexpectedly sometimes and whether negative or positive emotions, allow them to point you towards the Lord.
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Is there a topic you’d like me to address on the podcast or do you have a question you’d like me to try and answer? If so, feel free to use the link in the show notes to let me know what that is.
It is my prayer that these podcasts will help you grow in confidence and peace as the day draws near for you to meet your little one and as you continue to walk on this parenting journey. I'm so glad you tuned in today.
Show notes:
With hormones working overtime during pregnancy and postpartum, it can throw our emotions for a loop sometimes – so what’s a mama to do? In this episode, we take a biblical look at emotions and talk about how even hormone aggravated emotions can help us take a good look at what’s going on in our hearts.
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